Hi, my name is John and I have severe idiopathic peripheral neuropathy.
I guess it was to be expected especially because I kept getting the same message over and over. Doctor after doctor. Still, it's hard to hear and to process as truth. I'm talking about the diagnosis of peripheral neuropathy and the prediction that the condition will continue to worsen until I'll need a wheelchair to get around.
So far, this has been happening true to form except more quickly than would be considered normal. Initially, I didn't use a cane but walked a bit unsteadily and made it through my day although it always shocked me to see my stooped back and halting walk in the reflection of store windows. Everything was fairly simple just with more pain and more fear of falling.
Sure, it was a problem, annoying, but I managed. Then as my balance faded further I found that a single cane made things a bit easier. Most of the pain was focused on my right knee, hip, ankle and foot. And didn't Mr. Peanut's classy black cane enhance his sense of style?
But soon one cane wasn't sufficient so I doubled my efforts. Tried two canes. I was quickly weakening and had to admit to myself that I needed more help. That was a hard confession.
Next I moved to a walker donated by a dear friend. It is now my constant companion even for quick trips from the bed to the bathroom at night. I can barely remember life without it. Looking toward to the future, my wife and I purchased a wheelchair at a thrift store so it will be available when I need it.
And that might be sooner than we think -- or hope.
Tragically, one of our children recently died. Add that to the continued dark prognosis for my health and things have been hard lately. I'm sure they are for you and those you care for as well.
But I still have much to be thankful for: a precious wife and family and friends who support and encourage me. Much has changed and that's OK. No matter what I will continue to pray for strength, healing, and the opportunity to serve others.
And to accept life as it is.
It's more than turning lemons into lemonade, it's accepting the fact that you might not be able to make lemonade for yourself anymore. That you will need others to help with things you once could do easily.
But no matter what, I believe that life can be beautiful -- even in a walker or wheelchair.
Thank for listening.
John
P.S. For further thoughts visit Giving Mom a Break About her Meds, Let's Talk about Mobility, Let's Talk about Speed, Let's Talk about Changes, or Let's Talk about Giving Thanks. You can also read about Using a Handicap Placard, Walker Envy, Saying "Owww" when it hurts, Calluses and dealing with Pain, or the Humor of finding out your personal walker was a star on the TV show Monk! Here are a few thoughts on Exhaustion. If you have to grab a grab bar click here. Finally, if you ever find yourself dropping things like I do, please read this and its sequel about the difference between Tossing Something and Dropping It!
Thanks, Jordan, for the perfect picture. Photo by https://unsplash.com/@JordanAndrews.
Comments
Post a Comment